Ted and Shay: Let’s start at the beginning: Confessions of a MySpace stalker

2007, that’s when it all began.  The tall, dark and handsome guy who was the reason I spent a good portion of my income on groceries, did something that forced me into that dirty ring of passive romantics that most of us have secretly and innocently dabbled with, but not many have delved into as far as I did.  Let me back track…

The developing crush reared its ugly head on so many occasions that my ex and I even joked about how this guy at the grocery store was my “fake boyfriend”.  One day, while desperately reaching for a box of dog treats on the tip-top shelf, handsome stranger reached up and brought the box down for me.  I was shocked, he smelled so good, like dude soap, not cologne or B.O. or anything musky-strange, but soap! Clean and refreshing!  That was the last straw, I had to find out what his name was. For months I had acted like a giddy school girl wandering the aisles every time I was in there, hoping to run into him and it never occurred to me to check for a name tag…

So the quest began, god forbid I actually strike up a conversation with him! I was newly single and had zero game/social skills.  I turned to social media, the safety net for the socially awkward.  By the way, it is incredibly difficult to find someone on any of those social networking sites if you KNOW NOTHING ABOUT THEM!  His place of employment was all I had to work with.  I won’t give away my secrets but I finally found him, and after a week or so, got the courage up to ask him to be my friend.  Yup, I was that girl. Never talked to him, wasn’t even sure if he would recognize me or think anything of me, but I extended the virtual handshake anyway.

One hot summer day after a grueling match of no-rules volleyball with the pals, we decided to haul our sweaty asses down to Grumpy’s for a cocktail and a round of Staraoke with the lovely Arzu. While standing on the patio looking like a sweaty mess, Ted appeared out of nowhere, walking toward the bar. I almost peed my pants! What good/terrible luck! I had been hanging out at that bar for years on a very regular basis, and I had never, ever, ever seen Ted there!  Of course he shows up on a day when I look like I’m melting in the same clothes I had been wearing the entire weekend…

Well, drinks run dry and eventually I had to do the walk of shame past him to get to the bar (I didn’t know he had accepted my MySpace request at that time). I tried my hardest to keep my eyes on the ground and not look at him, but I peeked, and he was looking at me AND he said hi!

We ended up striking up a conversation after my drink was refilled, but we weren’t in the clear yet. Alicia, bestest bestie in the world, was determined to get rid of him. Always the protector, she was convinced he was trouble and I was just going to have my heart smashed. She pulled out all of her how-to-scare-a-guy-off tricks, but it did the opposite, Ted thought it was hilarious!

Several drinks later, phone numbers were exchanged and a brief make-out session took place in front of everyone. I think I held my breath until he called me a day or two later!

Who would have thought that what started out as an innocent fling with an expected expiration date of the end-of-summer, would turn into the most amazing love I could have ever imagined.  Aww!

 

-Shaylyn

www.tedshay.com

Married!

Related Posts with Thumbnails

It is approximately one month after my wedding to Peter. Now that I have a few fire-pit-and-wine sessions under my belt, life feels back to normal.

Some things I learned:

A smart and unselfish personal attendant is vital. Mine remembered everything I forgot. She also did this cool thing: she collected 52 interesting postcards and put our new address on the back along with the date of each week over the coming year. The idea is that guests take one postcard, write a memory of the wedding on it, and mail it to us on the appointed week throughout the year. (We have received 4 postcards so far, but not on the corresponding dates.)

We had out wedding on a Friday and thought we would have all day on Saturday to hang with our families, so we planned a picnic for Saturday at noon. This was dumb. We thought we could handle it but we were tired to the bone. Not hung-over tired, but physical exhaustion tired. It was great to see everyone but I was not my best. And actually, I don’t think our guests really wanted to see us again. (We had also planned to have a back-yard fire for our out-of-town friends Sat night, but luckily Mother Nature saved us from ourselves with a thunderstorm.) Seriously: tired.

Wedding photographers are good for more than excellent artwork. They obviously go to a lot of weddings. Let them give you advice. They know how long everything will take: how long guests need to get to the reception; how long a buffet line will take; when the dancing should start. A smoother day for you is a smoother day for them, so ask if they mind reviewing your schedule.

Your friends and family will be indescribably generous. You will receive love in the form of gifts for weeks around your wedding. This feels a little hard to accept and I felt a little undeserving. It is a case of "to whom much is given, much is expected". I feel like my life has been launched in a new trajectory and I now have a lot of tools with which to give back.

The wedding changed my relationship to Peter. Or rather, the commitment. Which seems obvious, but I didn't expect it. This wedding means I am choosing depth of experience over breadth and it is an interesting tension between security and responsibility. Security in that we have time to grow together. Responsibility to spend that time wisely. But, you know, he’s here to help with that.

Thank you for reading this!

-Brooke


Brooke, a client of Lace/Hanky, shares her thoughts about what it is like to be engaged– the good and the bad.
Read more entries from The Engagement Story here.

:: The Engagement Story :: Maybe I'll hire a palm-reader for the wedding

Related Posts with Thumbnails

I was hanging out with my book club this weekend at Norm's Fish Camp outside of Ely. It was a wonderful break from work/wedding planning/packing and a chance to sit still and think about the marriage that is zooming toward us. One of the women brought tarot cards so I had a reading. I had several cards that mentioned acknowledging and controlling my ego during my upcoming life change. Whether or not you believe in tarot, that advice is incredibly apt for me. I am a pretty stubborn girl who likes to be right. It's been interesting; Peter and I purchased a house a few weeks ago, and trying to navigate those decisions has been really challenging. I think I took it for granted that I would be in charge of decorating - wrong. I have to continually remind myself to make decisions with Peter, not without him. It is an unconscious habit that I need to practice breaking. Practicing now on things like paint color will, I hope, make joint-decisions on important things like jobs and finances easier. I love tarot.


Brooke, a client of Lace/Hanky, shares her thoughts about what it is like to be engaged– the good and the bad.
Read more entries from The Engagement Story here.

:: The Engagement Story :: A bride by any other name...

Related Posts with Thumbnails

We are seven weeks from the wedding and everything is starting to happen very fast. Invites have gone out (almost). This weekend was the bridal shower with Peter's side of the family. I feel very lucky; they were so generous with me. I've been spending a lot of time debating whether I should change my name to theirs. He's got a beautiful name that means "pilgrim" in Armenian. Mine means something close to "holy valley" in Norwegian. I can see the case both ways; changing my name is a way to honor him and his family, as well as having a common link with any children we may have. It is a kind of quaint, nice tradition. On the other hand, there is something so powerfully lateral about keeping my name. It is a symbolic way to keep my individuality.

Thankfully, no one, including Peter, is pressuring me to change it. Interestingly, I get the most pressure from those who want me to keep my name.

-Brooke


Brooke, a client of Lace/Hanky, shares her thoughts about what it is like to be engaged– the good and the bad.
Read more entries from The Engagement Story here.

:: The Engagement Story :: Get a wedding planner! ::

Related Posts with Thumbnails

I have come over to the dark side in this DIY culture. I am a believer in wedding planners.

This is not a testament to my decline into wedding madness - it is practical. I see now why that system works! Vendors (caterers, venue, cake, flowers etc) respond to negotiation and I, as the bride-to-be, am negotiating from the weakest position. Probably the weakest position in all the business kingdom. These vendors know that I have been set up by 30 years of expectations about what a wedding should look like and they hold all the cards in giving that to me. Plus, I need them to like me, so I receive the best service. I have no power in the process.

A wedding planner, on the other hand, is able to operate with cool precision, analyze vendors by the numbers, ask for deals, and has the knowledge and experience to know what to ask for. Vendors need the wedding planner to like them so that they continue to get referrals. The couple benefits from pre-existing relationships nurtured by their planner. It is an entire ecosystem unto itself.

Maybe I should have understood this sooner. Or maybe I'm wrong. (Or I might add, in the Midwest we're not taught to negotiated and ask for what we want.) Anyone have a different experience with their wedding planner?

-Brooke


Brooke, a client of Lace/Hanky, shares her thoughts about what it is like to be engaged– the good and the bad.
Read more entries from The Engagement Story here.