Ted and Shay: Na Zdorovje!

Ted/Shay February 11, 2010

Ah, the Russians. They really know how to drink/eat/make bad techno-dance music.

It was a spooky Halloween (Shay’s birthday). I decided to take her to Moscow on the Hill.

On the way I totally saw my favorite costume that year: a nine year old boy dressed as Flava-Flav. BOOM!

Not only does Moscow on the Hill have THE best stroganoff in town,

but they also have like, Nine Million kinds of Vodka from around the world (obviously right up Shay’s alley).

While enjoying a free shot of in-house distilled cherry vodka, I contemplated my master plan.

After cramming down some kind of amazing meat, cream and mushroom dish, not to mention a few more cocktails, I decided it was about time.

Shay will remember just as well as I will that I was acting weird. I didn’t drop to one knee, 1: because I think some traditions are kind of hokey. I didn’t want it to look like an act from a crappy play and 2: because I had just forced about two pounds of Russian food into my gut. I probably would have split my pants or ripped one….or both.

I wanted it to seem genuine. I reached across the table and took her hands. Then I babbled. Some people would prepare for this kind of thing. Not me, I wing that shit. I know I meant everything I said and that’s what really matters anyway. Obviously she said yes or I wouldn’t be writing this post.

The waiter was kind enough to bring us yet another round of free drinks (a combo of champagne and their cherry vodka). A small, fat Russian man with an accordion approached our table and said what I took to be: “I play for you now.”

It was pretty awesome, even if he could barely play the thing. Though there was an incredibly drunk middle-aged hippie lady who was throwing twenties at him like he was the greatest thing since The Rolling Stones.

So, among the sour cream, Russian mobsters, and enough vodka to pay a Soviet Union teacher for 15 years, I sealed the deal. It could not have been better……

ted

Photo credits: Moscow on the Hill, Pictures of Cupcakes blog, We Got Served blog

Ted and Shay: Let the shoe porn begin! (total SFW, BTW)

Ted/Shay February 4, 2010

I'm on the hunt for shoes for the wedding. I'm saving money by making my own dress so it's only natural to reward myself for taking on such a huge project by splurging on a pair of kicks for the shin-dig, right?

Apparently, designer shoes are no longer attainable, even at my inflated price range. I've yet to find a pair under $600, much less the $300 max I set for myself. I'm going to have to wait for the spring sales, scout my sale-stores and just be patient (not a strong suit of mine). One good thing, my feet are almost drag-queen sized so usually there are plenty of leftovers in the clearance bins/sites.

As much as I'd love to own a fabulous pair of Christian Louboutin shoes, I might cross them off the list. It seems like every tacky, over the top wedding I see photos of on blogs, has a princess-bride wearing red-soled shoes. They also never seem to go below the $700 mark even when on super clearance. This is me being practical.

For the time being, here's a slide show of what I'm having wet dreams about:

Thanks for playing!

xox

Shaylyn

Ted and Shay: My Turn!

Ted/Shay January 26, 2010

I'm by no means a traditional kind of dude.

I would say that this picture does more explaining than words ever will. I never thought that the grocery store I work at would be the setting to meet the woman I would not only fall in love with but decide to share my life with, as well.

I always noticed Shay when she came in. With no name to go by I always referred to her as the hot chick with the pin up tattoo. I had no idea she noticed me as well. I just know I always stared at her when she was in the store (because I'm creepy, apparently). Her eyes were maybe what I noticed first....maybe. Shortly after I received a friend request via myspace from her.

Flash forward to summer 2007: I had just finished performing live on a local radio show with my band. The DJ and I decided to round up some other friends and hit up Grumpy's for some much needed beers and Karaoke. While trying to find a song to B.S. my way through I looked up and saw the hot chick with the pin-up tattoo walk through the door.

I'm awkward, clumsy and not very social. Especially when it comes to talking to the opposite sex. So it took quite a few (a crapload, really) of shots/beer/antifreeze to get up the guts to even stumble my way through a conversation with Shay. We spent the rest of the evening sitting on the patio of Grumpy's talking over each other about music and planning a future date.

Over the next few months we spent every day we could together and pretended to take it slow. It was inevitable. We knew it was more serious than a passing fling. I think I first noticed how strong my actual feelings were when I realized that she was not only willing but seemed to enjoy coming to the flophouse apartment I shared with my heterosexual life partner, Colin:

Seriously, it was a section 8, beige carpet, broken main door, hell hole of an apartment. Our kitchen looked like Afghanistan on a bad day but Shay had no problem coming over and trying to keep up with my immense alcohol tolerance.

I know I'm a lucky guy traditional or not.

-Ted

www.tedshay.com

Ted and Shay: Let’s start at the beginning: Confessions of a MySpace stalker

Ted/Shay January 23, 2010

2007, that’s when it all began. The tall, dark and handsome guy who was the reason I spent a good portion of my income on groceries, did something that forced me into that dirty ring of passive romantics that most of us have secretly and innocently dabbled with, but not many have delved into as far as I did. Let me back track…

The developing crush reared its ugly head on so many occasions that my ex and I even joked about how this guy at the grocery store was my “fake boyfriend”. One day, while desperately reaching for a box of dog treats on the tip-top shelf, handsome stranger reached up and brought the box down for me. I was shocked, he smelled so good, like dude soap, not cologne or B.O. or anything musky-strange, but soap! Clean and refreshing! That was the last straw, I had to find out what his name was. For months I had acted like a giddy school girl wandering the aisles every time I was in there, hoping to run into him and it never occurred to me to check for a name tag…

So the quest began, god forbid I actually strike up a conversation with him! I was newly single and had zero game/social skills. I turned to social media, the safety net for the socially awkward. By the way, it is incredibly difficult to find someone on any of those social networking sites if you KNOW NOTHING ABOUT THEM! His place of employment was all I had to work with. I won’t give away my secrets but I finally found him, and after a week or so, got the courage up to ask him to be my friend. Yup, I was that girl. Never talked to him, wasn’t even sure if he would recognize me or think anything of me, but I extended the virtual handshake anyway.

One hot summer day after a grueling match of no-rules volleyball with the pals, we decided to haul our sweaty asses down to Grumpy’s for a cocktail and a round of Staraoke with the lovely Arzu. While standing on the patio looking like a sweaty mess, Ted appeared out of nowhere, walking toward the bar. I almost peed my pants! What good/terrible luck! I had been hanging out at that bar for years on a very regular basis, and I had never, ever, ever seen Ted there! Of course he shows up on a day when I look like I’m melting in the same clothes I had been wearing the entire weekend…

Well, drinks run dry and eventually I had to do the walk of shame past him to get to the bar (I didn’t know he had accepted my MySpace request at that time). I tried my hardest to keep my eyes on the ground and not look at him, but I peeked, and he was looking at me AND he said hi!

We ended up striking up a conversation after my drink was refilled, but we weren’t in the clear yet. Alicia, bestest bestie in the world, was determined to get rid of him. Always the protector, she was convinced he was trouble and I was just going to have my heart smashed. She pulled out all of her how-to-scare-a-guy-off tricks, but it did the opposite, Ted thought it was hilarious!

Several drinks later, phone numbers were exchanged and a brief make-out session took place in front of everyone. I think I held my breath until he called me a day or two later!

Who would have thought that what started out as an innocent fling with an expected expiration date of the end-of-summer, would turn into the most amazing love I could have ever imagined. Aww!