Spenser & Ashley: Freudian Slip

What do Spenser Baldwin and Sigmund Freud have in common?  They’re two men I wasn’t so sure about when I started my long trek through the psychology program at Abilene Christian University.  Fortunately, that’s where the similarities end because Freud was a very disturbed man.  Cole McAllister introduced Spenser and I about four and a half years ago before our first day of APCT psychology, and now here we are…planning our wedding.  There’s obviously a lot of time that has gone by, and plenty of stories I’ll hopefully get to share.  But first…I’d like to talk to you about Chinese food.

I was never really a fan of Chinese food growing up.  I know it’s surprising…why wouldn’t the best Chinese come from Minnesota?  It’s because everyone knows the greatest Pan-Asian cuisine is in Texas…no less, Abilene.  It was probably my brother, Adam, who first introduced me to Little Panda.  And let me tell you…meeting Spenser was the most wonderful thing that ever happened to me, but going to LP for the first time is right up there with it.  I was hooked the first time I consumed the incredible contents of their styrofoam boxes, and eventually, this became a staple food of my relationship with Spenser.  Many afternoons between classes were filled with sesame chicken and fried rice…along with an episode of Lost.

So it should come as no surprise that my ring came in a fortune cookie.  Spenser (and a sly elderly woman) convinced the fine staff of Little Panda to share their recipe so that he could make it for me on our vacation to the northern woods of Minnesota.  It was there in Hackensack, over sesame chicken, sitting by a campfire with the sun setting over a lake, and with a fortune that read “To have joy one must share it”, Spenser asked me to marry him.



It was an incredible night filled with lies and deceit to get me out of the cabin so Spenser could prepare. And after we celebrated for a little while with family and made a couple of phone calls, we returned to the campfire where Spenser provided me with a beautiful booklet outlining his commitment to me and to our families as my future husband.  It was easy to say ‘yes’ without a doubt in my mind that night, and I still can’t believe how lucky of a girl I am.  I can’t help but think I should probably send Cole McAllister a thank-you note.

Spenser & Ashley: This is the Start of Something Good

Throughout my life I’ve been a part of many weddings, learning something vital and different from each one.  For example, the first wedding I was in as a flower girl, I learned that high heels make a lot of noise on marble floors.  I took this as a sign of being a woman; wearing high-heel satin shoes and a dress that made me look like a miniature bride.  I quickly learned though that the life-sized bride was not as impressed with the noise as we headed up the stairs to the ceremony.  I was shushed by the beautiful woman in the white dress, interpreting her concern as a lesson on the seriousness of weddings.  I then proceeded to walk down the aisle solemn, straight-faced, and extremely poised.  My Mom was trying to get my attention, pressing her fingers into her face to try to get me to smile.  But no…my task was too great and I kept my eyes forward.  The pictures still make me laugh and cringe at the same time.  I look back and realize that an eight-year-old flower girl may take weddings too seriously, so I have officially asked a two-year-old to fulfill that role; but we’ll get to her later.  She deserves a blog post all to herself.

I’m sure I’ll talk about some of the other amazing weddings I’ve been a part of along the way, but to kick this whole blog experience off, there is one more lesson learned that I’d like to share: I am not creative.  It isn’t my lack of ability…my fiancé often gets defensive when I say this because he believes I can create beautiful and extremely unique things.  I think it is more a conglomeration of a lack of desire, procrastination, and genetics.  Unfinished art projects have always been my specialty.  My closest friends will tell you that I’m more of an idea girl, and life would be much easier if I could just afford a personal assistant who made all those ideas come to life.

When I first started thinking about my wedding, I thought that maybe this event would be an exception.  Maybe…just maybe for my wedding, my artistic ideas would come to life.  Then my brother got married.  This was the first wedding that I was truly involved in and it was incredible.  And as I watched my sister-in-law come up with these beautiful and creative ideas and then bring them to life, I realized something…nothing changes when you get married.  This is true for many reasons, but specifically, I wasn’t going to suddenly become Martha Stewart just because I was getting married.

Adam & Amanda's wedding and details - Pictures by LaceHanky of course

I wanted so badly to create a beautiful scrapbook outlining my relationship with Spenser leading up to our wedding, but since I’m only on page 6 of a scrapbook I started for us 3.5 years ago, I don’t think we’ll have a leather-bound book of memories sitting on our coffee table.  Instead, we’ll have this: a blog that outlines the wonder and beauty of getting married, and the glorious stress of planning a wedding.

So here we go: My name is Ashley Berres and on August 25^, 2009, Spenser Baldwin, the most incredible man I’ve ever met, asked me to marry him.  Our rustic, romantic, fall-themed wedding will be October 16, 2010 and you can read about our journey to that day through this blog.  My hope is that anyone who reads this will not only be highly entertained, but also informed on how we pulled a wedding together in our growing southern suburb of the twin cities.